Good bye, MJ.

There is a very good reason why everyone everywhere has made a tribute or will be making a tribute to this man. Michael Jackson is one of the most influencetial people of all time, one of the few people who's influence spread far beyond their work. In his prime, he was the sweethart of the world. He was the beating heart of music, injecting into pop music a certain groove, a style, that had never been seen before. Michael was the ultimate showman, an unparralled performer. He lived a tumultous, perilous life, one who's details have been mostly shrouded, but at the same time has been under the constant watch of the public eye. But don't remember him for his scandals. Remember him for his greatness. Here's to you, MJ. There will never be another like him.

Father's Day

TES Ep. 2- How to be a Writer

"Stop writing for other people! You're like... some kind of... writing mercenary!"
-My mother

Thank you, mother dearest. For your information, I don't even do commissions anymore. I was once forced to write some Mary Sue love story for this one chick, and I'm still recovering from the mental trauma.

Ahem.

This brings me to today's episode of The Educational Show. Today, we will be learning about writing.

Writing is a highly dangerous process undertaken by only the most skilled professionals. To become a writer, people must go on a long and difficult quest to find the Seven Sacred Symbolic Stones of Skill, and bring them all to a hidden cave in the Himalayas. Only then will they be granted the mystical ability to put words on paper. (Even so, 90% of all written materials are shit. Including this blog entry.)

MAGICAL JOURNEY WALKTHROUGH

Here are the locations of the seven stones:
Red- Latitude 55.014586; Longitude 159.169922. Just walk right in and get it, but please don't touch anything else.
Orange- Go to Canada. Ask for Abdullahi. Don't worry, everyone in Canada knows each other.
Yellow- Latitude -24.657668; Longitude -69.697266. Bring a shovel.
Green- Stuttgart, Germany. 910, 02, 328. You know what to do.
Blue- 38°53'23"N , 77°00'27"W. Ask for Elijah. The password is 'swordfish'.
Indigo- Madagascar's largest seaport. Third door on the right. Knock 'SOS' before entering.
Violet- Osaka, Japan. Wear a toilet seat around your neck while constantly humming the Jeopardy theme, that's how they'll recognize you.

The cave is at -16.344036; 93.339844. After placing the stones into the corresponding slots in the wall, two doors will be revealed. These doors have two guards, one who always lies and one who always tells the truth. Just take the door on the left.
You should come to a room empty except for a raised square platform, a clockwork robot, and a chessboard. To advance, you have to beat the robot at boxing.
Now, you're almost there. There will be a glowing golden quill on a pedestal. Don't touch it. It's a trap. Instead, look for a chewed-on pencil nub lying on the floor behind the pedestal. This is the true source of writer powers. Take it, it's yours. And be ready to outrun a giant rolling stone ball, some swinging axe blades, and several arrow traps on your way out. Just after you escape, the entire cave should self-destruct. Don't worry, it'll reset for the next guy who wants to be a writer.

Bawksin

How many days has this blog gone without a post on boxing? Too damn long.

I finally watched the Cotto Clottey match the other day, and I've got to say, I underestimated Clottey a whole lot. I expected Cotto to dominate the match, but Clottey kept him at bay with some lazer precision jabbing and great agression.

Cotto, on the other hand, was not as impressive. He won and everything, but he definitely needed to be more accurate. He showed some good ring generalship in a few points in the match, trapped Clottey in the corner for a bit.

Overall, the match was good.

Both guys played hard.

God Bless and good night.

On another note, Cotto is supposed to be fighting Pacquiao in November. Cotto will obviously have the size and power advantage, but Many has the everything else advantage, including speed. I can see it now, Manny slipping a Cotto left hook before landing a left straight that knocks Cotto's head into the crowd.

Yes I am a Pacquiao fan and I support favoritism on this blog.

On another topic, Fight Night Round 4 is coming out very very soon, and I am having a conniption fit waiting for it. 60 frames per second, physics based boxing, a new and improved career mode, MIKE FUCKING TYSON, and some other modes that don't matter because the career mode is so damn awesome. I'll be obsessed with that and make the SCS crew wonder why I've disappeared for the next two weeks after the game comes out. Wooooo bawksin.

I'm done now, continue with the torture.

Hans von Hozel

Hans von Hozel is the greatest writer ever and I wish to have his babies.

Why, you ask? Gentlemen, I present you his works:

LINK

There's something for everyone. Here are some examples.

---

House

One day, House was walk into his House.

"It is good to have House House!" say House, as he walk into House House.

Suddenly, the door on House House opened and Time Paradox flew out!

"YOU CANNOT HAVE HOUSE INSIDE HOUSE!!!!!" scream Time Paradox, as a paradox many times.

"But is House House!" say House.

"IT IS NO MORE FOR HOUSE HOUSE!!!!!!!!!!" say Time Paradox, as the House disconnects from the floor and flys into Time Paradox.

And no more House House.
"But my House House!!!" say House, as a not House House.

But Time Paradox would not return House House.

"I cannot return House House without a make Paradox!" say Time Paradox.

House was annoy at this, and jumped into the Time Paradox, to get back House House.

"HOUSE HOUSE!" shout House, but there were no House House inside Time Paradox.

"I have turned House House to bricks..." say Time Paradox, and Time Paradox closed and House was stuck inside Time Paradox forever.

---

The Accidental Virus

Gordon Freeman made a standing inside Science Office.

Many science were littered across the room.

Suddenly, Gordon made discovery of something strange in his Science Readings!

"I THINK YOU SHOULD COME AND MAKE SEE THIS!!!" shout Gordon to the corridor..., but no one replied.

Gordon looked down at the Bacterias on his plate.

Suddenly, the bacteria flew off Plate!

"YOU SHOULD HAVE PUT TOP ON PLATE!" shout Bacteria, "NOW WE INFECT THE WORLD!!!!!!"

The Bacteria began to danube and multiply, and soon the whole room was full Bacteria.

"OH NO!!" screamed Gordon, as he forgot to shut the window curtains and bacteria OUT THE WINDOW!!!!!

The Police had installed a camera into Gordon's Science Lab, and saw this with their film.

Suddenly, the Police jumped into the room.

"You have release VIRUS!" scream Police, and the put a capture on Gordon and send him to jail.

"BUT THE HALF LIFE!!!!" screamed Gordon!, as he made a sending to jail and bacteria disolves the lab.

---

World of Warcraft

In the futures, people were run out of Internet, so they had to make ration of internet!

But on day, all the nerds went to the internet maschine, to make a stealing from the internet so they could make a play World of Warcraft all the time!

The police heard of their crimes with their megaphone.

The nerds went back to their computers and made a playing on warcrafts.

They wore many goggles and made that Star Trek sign with their hands at each other.

Suddenly, the police burst into the rom.

"YOU SHALL NOT MAKE A STEALING FROM THE INTERNET!" yell police, and they make a shooting at the nerds.

"You shall no shoot us!" they make a shouting, and they hide behind the internet.

The police bullets shot the internet!

"BUT THIS WAS THE LAST INTERNETS WE HAD!!!!!!!!!!" scream police, and the internet exploded and no more internets.

Play Armored Core 4 Answer, and I'll give you mine

So, I've been playing Armored Core 4Answer recently. I've also managed to beat the game once, and get to see one of the many endings of the game, aptly titled Ending A. So, why don't I tell you how the game was, eh? You're here anyway, might as well plug one of my favorite games.

Well, where do I start? Armored Core 4Answer is a great game, and it's kept me busier than almost anything else in my XBox 360 games library, excepting Tales of Vesperia, which stopped once I hit the brick wall known as Gauche and Droite. Anyway, I digress. Armored Core is certainly a series that is worth your time, and this game in particular does not fail to deliver.

I must admit, there were tense points in the game for me, points where I beleived I simply could not win. Like the fight with the Armored Core pictured above, White Glint. But I get ahead of myself. First I need to give a little bit of exposition about what exactly Armored Core is, 4Answer in particular.

Armored Core is a series of games revolving around the usage of the titular Armored Cores, giant robots that are used as mercenaries. In each game, you play as one of these mercenaries, piloting your own AC. In Armored Core 4Answer, you play as one of these mercenaries, someone who takes jobs (at first) from the pseudo-government, The League.

That being said, as the game goes on, you are given the opportunity to take missions from people other than the League, and the morality of the game is slowly revealed to be more gray than I'd thought. Nobody is truly good in this game, but damn, you'd be surprised at how many people will kill thousands upon thousands of innocents in the name of freedom. Good thing there are no 15 year old kids with blue hair, or else I'd be very suspicious.

Well, that's all I can post for now. I'll post later when I've played the game more.

My Brute - Throwin' it all down.

What's all the commotion around these parts? What exactly is, MyBrute?

MyBrute is a site devoted to a browser based game where you randomly create a brute and pit it against other brutes in a devastating one-on-one brawl. Your character from appearance (although there is some customization after you've typed out your name) to skills, to attributes, to health, to items, to growth; are completely randomized upon creation. There are some overpowered items (i.e. Flail) and pets (i.e. Bear) that some people have the patience to recreate their characters until they obtain one. The game is very simple, as you cannot control your brute during fights. Just click your opponent's name to fight them. You get to fight in the Arena 3 times a day (6 times upon initial creation), gain 2 experience per victory, and 1 experience for defeat. Pupil system is accounted for that if you challenge a brute they will take you in as a pupil and gain a small bit of XP. Rumor says you can get some nifty traits by having a good master as well. This game is eerily addicting, by the way! Below is a list of a few brutes that our fellow friends and bloggers have made. Got one? Comment with it and I'll edit this blog post with your brute. Help out your friends by pupiling! :D

Sal's Brute - Datoom
Saber's Brute - DarkSaberKnight
Dakk's Brute - UberDakk
Daft's Brute - Orwell1984
Jax' Brute - Concrete Junglist

- S

Underachiever.

I always wondered what it felt like to never actually get to where you always dreamed you'd be. You spent your childhood just imagining your life and how happy you'd be, and then 40 years later you're just some...guy.

Not necessarily a bum. You might have some success, but its not the success you wanted. Nothing you have is what you wanted. You had to settle. What is that like?

Is it a sinking feeling? Is it like a hole that will always be there, unwilling to be filled? Is it a nagging in the back of your head that will never cease.

Not being able to live out your dreams must really, really, suck.

Sonic's dead

Does anybody wanna let me know what's going on at that clusterfuck known as Sega? Why has Sonic the Hedgehog suffered a string of failures only superceded by the Chicago fucking Cubs? I mean, this isn't some platforming hasbeen like Crash Bandicoot or that Bubsy the Cat thing, or whatever the hell it's name is.

This is Sonic the Hedgehog. He was a legend! He was the fastest thing ever! I mean, how can a guy fall so far? And it's not like the forumla is complex: Give Sonic a few generic levels to speed through, a Robotnik robot to fight at the end of said level, and you've got a hit.

It's not hard at all. But apparently, Sonic Team or whoever is fucking up is letting their five year olds work on the game while they go get wasted on whatever drug is available to them.

There has been so much crap coming out of Sonic Team that people have actually demanded that Sonic be taken to the back and headshot'd old Yeller style. But I think that Sonic deserves better then euthanization. Sonic deserves a revamp, an attempt to make him better.

Take him back to the basics, or if you have to keep the current cast of characters, get somebody that can write a decent storyline. As a matter of fact, Sonic Team, just outsource the game to somebody who knows what they're doing.

And not Bioware. They're a talented team, but Sonic doesn't need to be turned into a turn based RPG.

Somebody like....maybe Insomniac Games. I hate the fact that they abandoned Spyro the wayt the did, but Insomniac makes good platforming games, and I'm more then sure they can give Sonic the quality game he deserves.

But whatever. It's not like Sonic Team's ever gonna read this blog, or anyone that can make a difference for that matter, so let's pretend this post was about raising race horses instead.

Go SatanSlicer! Race into the wind and ne'er look back!

PS: I don't think that Sega's idea to add more characters to the storyline of Sonic was a bad idea persay, the problem is the characters are useless. If Sega can develop these new characters and make them a viable part of the story, then I daresay they might have something good going on.

SCHOOL

High Schools are filled with rude, ignorant pricks who delight in attacking and defaming their own peers to gain some sort of validation from other peers, even though this validation is meaningless as they will all end up on the side of a road with a "WILL WORK 4 FOOD" sign or in jail for some sort of criminal activity as they are all so fucking incompetent.

High Schools are all about having fun now, even when having fun now will ruin your life later. Why does a fifteen year old want to skip school to smoke weed? Why does that girl think that sleeping with the quarterback(who sucks, by the way) will make her profile in high school better, when all he's going to do is talk about her behind her back?

High Schools are the worst places to learn, because for every child that actually wants to listen, learn, and get ahead in life, there are 10 that want to sit in the back of the classroom and make a massive commotion because mommy doesn't give them enough attention.

I'm not saying I was a perfect student, but High School just was not a great institution of learning for me. It was a 4 year popularity contest based on the most superficial of qualifiers, and I'm happy that I don't have to deal with it any longer.

School's out, finally

As a response to this entire series of posts about school, I would like to add my thoughts on school and how it is out.

My school sucked. The people there were okay, but I didn't have any close friends. Well, I had one, but she recently revealed that she had secretly hated me all along and apparently only hung out with me to be needlessly cruel. She could have left at any time. I told her every day. But I digress.

School was hell because of my classes. I failed math. My parents are engineers and I failed math. I tried so hard and I studied so much and I failed. And eventually the report card will arrive and I will beg my parents to look at my outstanding performance in, what, gym? I'm not exactly known for my intelligence. And after yelling at me for several days, my parents will scoff and tell me that it was impossible for me to fail math because I am their child and must therefore possess crazy math skillz. I think I'm adopted, it would explain so much. I failed, and now I'll never go to West Point. Not that I wanted to. It was my parents' idea. Can you see me leading *anything* without something terrible happening? I thought not. But I digress again.

School was like being hit over the head repeatedly while the disembodied voice of your father tells you how much you suck. I'm glad I got out of school in time, another month and I might have gone insane.

We've got teeth, we'll bite right back

In response to my friend Salza's post, I decided to write down my opinion on the subject. Sure, nostalgia is a power feeling, but we shouldn't focus on it. Nothing can be gained by wishing you still had those years to go back to, or regretting your actions in school, or otherwise. Once you make a choice, it's done, the moment's gone, and you're going to have to live with that.

I liken nostalgia to a shirt you don't like, or one you don't fit into. When you first get it, you don't really like it, and you can't wear it anyway. But as the years go by, you suddenly find yourself having never worn the shirt, and now it's too small for you to fit into. When you try to put it on, you realize that you can't, and you feel sad, knowing that you never got a chance to wear the shirt, even though you hated it.

What I mean to get at is simple. Just let go of the past. Who cares if you didn't accomplish everything you wanted to? There's still tomorrow. Regretting your choices is a waste of time. The only time that you won't be able to change your life is when you're in the grave, so keep moving. It isn't over until the fat lady sings, etc. etc.

Continuing the topic of school... nostalgia bites back.

So below my post is HealMack's argument (or rant) on school which has its points. I mean honestly, how much knowledge in school do you retain or need to really use after you're done with graduating? 90% of math formulas are useless to most people who do not pursue a career such as engineering where the formulas actually come in handy. And do you need to put on your resume that you know all the events of WWII on a day-by-day playback?

But... I still think everyone should go to school. There's a an old saying that goes around:
"You don't really appreciate what you have until it's gone."

And I damn straight agree with that quote in every way possible. It applies in every single situation in every single event. Another saying goes that your high school years are the best years of your life. I'll tell you now that I enjoyed my high school years, and that I could honestly say that I lived those years out like every day was my last.

But it'd be an understatement to say that I miss school. I regret not taking the 110% jubilant feeling I got from hanging out with friends or playing sports or even the silly business that went around during class and I regret not making it 200%. Now I sit every day in the reality aftermath, where you can't walk down the hallways to a gathering of your friends making jokes and laughing, where you can't joke around in a classroom with your classmates, where you can't go after school and say to yourself, "Alright, another fun day of volleyball with my team today!"

Because when I look back, nostalgia really bites back.

- Class of '08

In thanks for the end of today

Thank god school's out.

I have more things to say about schools than just this. Most of those things are personal, the rest are just unimportant.

Salazar +1 Bombcat

*Places thumb under chin, looks up at non-existent clouds, lets out a long sigh as if deep in thought*

Yep... that's me in a nutshell. I'm Sal, the original founder of Studio Cold Star and the mastermind behind the plot which somehow congregated all these people together and led to the creation of this blog while my back was turned.

Damn you, you anarchists. Overthrowing my dic--... tatorship.
... +1 Wit

Anyways, I don't have much about me to share. I'm a writer much like our good friend Delgado... although I'm not nearly as good as him at expressing words in a cool way.

... but what I can offer is Bombcat.

But, that's all for now!

ZAAAAAAAAALGO!

LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVER BLOW

Let's just just be honest with each other. Most mangas/animes are stupid. You get a fifteen year old, you give him a superpower, some superpowered friends(who are actually useless as they always get smashed and the main character has to save the day) a revolving door of villains to keep the story going(read: profits up), an emo rival, and hot damn, you got a story.

And unfortunately, the above description would actually fit most mangas/animes to the t.

We don't have to read such predictable drek, though. There are other mangas/animes that actually possess originality, that draw in readers with great illustration and rewards them with incredible character development and heartfelt emotion.

I'm speaking of the great boxing series. Hajime No Ippo.

Hajime No Ippo captures the very spirit of boxing. Both ends of the spectrum are displayed here, with boxers that range from genius technicians to ring weary journeymen with no hope of winning a title, to dirty fighters with no regard to the rules. The vast is colorful and varied, and each of them are so developed, that the story could easily follow them in their struggle to the top.
But the story revolves around one dude, Ippo Makunouchi.

Ippo starts the series off as a high schooler who's afraid of his own damn shadow. He's totally unknown in his school, and bullies kick his ass every day.

On on regularly scheduled asskicking, Ippo is saved by a boxer named Takamura(spoiler: best character in the whole damn series), who inadvertently introduces Ippo to boxing by being an otherworldly badass. and saves him from getting his ass kicked. Of course, when Ippo tells Takamura he wants to be a boxer, Takamura reminds him that he is a megawuss, and tells him to fuck off.

But Ippo is determined, and it's that determination that leads him through the feather weight class of Japan to become one of the most feared ko artists in his class.

It's really encouraging stuff. If Ippo could become a champion, hell, you can do anything.

If you're character in a manga. We all know you're limited to being a gas attendant in real life.

The sport of boxing is surprisingly well represented here, with the true pitfalls of being a pugilist detailed throughly. Of course, in ring action is stylishly over the top, but everything here is pretty much true to real life. Spoiler, the parts of the story where characters have to make weight are ridiculously intense.

I really don't want to reveal any more plot points, but Ippo's journey to the top is one that is drenched in sweat and blood.

And tears.

Stop picking your nose and go read the manga, and watch the anime(Volumes1-30, Volumes 36 and on, the missing volumes are covered in the OVAs which I haven't read but have heard nothing but good things about, rawr(which is about the same as the manga, don't worry)) and be amazed.

LIIIVER BLOOOW

Twilight is actually My Immortal

So, I first hear about this Teen Girl Sensation of a Novel, Twilight, about two years ago. As I recall, I was in middle school, and my idiot self back then was into fistfights, gatling guns, interesting diseases, antique swords, and (for some reason) Victor Hugo musical theater adaptations. So of course I didn't give a damn about this vampire novel that all the other chicks were talking about.

But I digress. Anyway, fast forward two years. After tripping over a sandbag and banging my head on a poorly-placed metal pole, I had another of my head-injury-induced revelations: People were still reading Twilight. I decided that maybe it was actually rather good, and I should try it. I go to the library, check out Twilight, and neglect my maths homework to better immerse myself in the plot.

As it turns out, there isn't a plot. Well, there probably is, but it's like continental drift. It's happening, sure, but too slow for a casual observer to perceive. Reading this book made me realize why I do not read books set in high schools. Your average high school is fucking boring and I've already nearly gone insane trying to cope with my own high school problems, danke.

Even I don't bitch as much as Bella does. She's impossible to please, evidently:
"Waaah, what if they don't liiike meee" *several guys start kissing up to her* "Waaah, they're liiiking meee"

And I totally knew Edgar Sullen was a vampire. I mean, the back cover of the book kinda spoiled it. So for the first, what, one-third of the book it's just me yelling "seriously c'mon man... i mean woman... c'mon bitch, figure out that he's a vampire already so we can move on." Only, I said this in my mind, but really loudly. So I was yelling. In my mind.

And then she eventually gets it and they have a shitload of tension and there are some other people but they aren't important. And there's a subplot where there's this other vampire who is after Bella for some reason and the Magical Vampire Family have to go bail her ass out after she does something stupid. I was actually looking forward to a Climatic Vampire Fight, but we don't even get to see that. Dammit. Whatever, the main plot was just the couple talking while slowly being Strangled by the Red String.

Anyway, it was... not good. But I must admit, I probably shouldn't criticize because I'm not even in the target audience. Okay, well, the target audience is teen girls and I am a teen girl. Never mind. I guess I'm still not in the target audience because presumably this is for hopeless romantics. Whatever, the entire genre was invented for Victorian-era fancy repressed women who knew about the smut cleverly disguised as vampire novels. And today we have repressed teen girls who are apparently into necrophilia. The Twilight couple don't even have sex until, I dunno, one of the way-too-many sequels. I just know from the Internet, I haven't actually bothered to read the rest of the books.

Also, vampires are like the Mary Sues of the zombie world.

TLDR; do not read Twilight. Unless you are a hopelessly romantic teen girl with a zombie fetish. Then I can't help you there.

Prototype is a very good game

It's the type of game that makes you question what you've been playing for the past 18 or so years, and why the hell did it take so long for someone to figure out that a playing a sociopathic shapeshifter named Alex Mercer who can run up skyscrapers and elbow drop tanks to oblivion is entertainment in it's purest form.

It's the stuff legends are made out of. A game that is completely carried by it's gameplay, because, let's be honest, the graphics aren't the prettiest and the storyline is "stfu so i can kick copters out the sky" quality. But if this game can't keep your face glued to the screen, you're probably a pussy.

Or Jack Thompson.

Ah, redundancy!

Moving on from the requisite Thompson bash, this game is fantastic, even with the flaws.

The graphics do seem somewhat dated for the 360(my system of choice because sony is a collective of greedy fucks), but you won't notice the graphical quibbles unless you stand still, and with Alex's locomotive powers, you probably won't be posting up on the corner much.

I'm gonna write up a review once I finish the game once or twice, but please, do yourself favor and buy this game.

Now shut up and clean my kitchen.

Hello!

A New Cast Member

Hey all. I'm just making a quick post to introduce a new cast member to our (frustratingly audience-less) freak show. Yes, this new member is Heal Mack. I'll let him speak for himself, but first I just wanted to touch upon a few things.

In addition to the comic I am going to be working on with Jax, there is another project that I'm currently working on. I won't disclose any information about it now, considering it's not that far into development and I am still unsure as to whether I will go anywhere with it, but if I do, you guys will hear of it.

Also, the game design blog I was planning to make with a friend is experiencing some difficulties. That is, we lack a name. So, if anyone wants to recommend a name we could go by, I'd take it into consideration. Names aren't necessarily my strong suit, and I won't attempt to go with a name that's mediocre.

Well there you go. Now I'll let Heal Mack speak for himself. Give him a warm welcome.

TES Ep. 1- Doctors

Hello, boys and girls. Welcome to the Educational Show.
Today we will be learning about doctors and their terrible secrets.

Doctors, as you may know, come in a wide variety of shapes, ranging from 'condescending old guy' to 'condescending tiny woman with massive hair' to 'condescending androgynous blob'. However, there is one thing that all doctors have in common, and that is their hair. Combovers, regardless of whether the doctor in question is balding, are an essential part of the medical uniform.

Do you know why this is so, boys and girls? What makes a normal person turn into an overworked physician with a lab coat and a combover? Of course, it is because a combover is actually a parasite that attaches to the heads of particularly egomaniacal interns.

It gives the host the ability to perform minor healing-type miracles simply by staring intently at patients over the rims of their glasses. However, this power comes at a price. With every person cured, the host must pay for the deed with their own health. Other side effects include accelerated aging and gradual loss of your soul. The average life expectancy is twenty years after a person becomes a doctor-- in the end, the host's increasing frail body burns itself out in a heroic sacrifice: it performs one last great work of healing and crumbles into dust. The combover brain parasite moves on to the next intern in line. This is how they get promoted.

There is a second type of doctor, the type that has gained the title through a PhD. This type is usually looked down upon by physicians as they are not Real Doctors. This type enjoys watching movies just so they can point out the flawed physics in the actiony sequences.

I went to My Doctor the other day. My mother was concerned because I was not nearly as big and/or strong as she had hoped, even though she married a tiny wimpy bishonen of a guy. With genes this crappy, it's no wonder I'm not taller (it was also her fault I am not strong, because she didn't let me lift weights). So, facepalming the entire way, I was dragged to My Doctor. She offered to give me injections of growth hormone. This made my mother quite happy. But then My Doctor said, 'olol just kidding, those cause leukemia.' My Doctor is kind of a jerk and now my mother is sad. Shame on you, My Doctor.

Hammer invasion

This has got to be one of the greatest things a group of humans have ever done, and proof that we are not just a bunch of giant viruses that destroy everything(take that Agent Smith!).

Behold....

A bunch of hammer time rejects raiding a fey tight pants hipster store and doing the routine to a corny ass song? Fuck yea!
This is the type of thing we all need to aspire to.
Tomorrow I'm going to congregate at the nearest Christian church to my house, wearing a red devil suit and a picture of a dead kitty on the chest part.
Start of a revolution, dears.

(Video first spotted at Kayne West's blog)

No shit boss

Hmm. I'm not sure if this is a cleverish joke or just stupid.

Probably a bit of both.

(procured from the missinfo blog)

Cool guys write

Writing is something I enjoy quite a bit, so much that I want to make a career out of it. Sometimes, it feels like I can only be sincere when I'm detailing a passage of time in a fictional world, pouring my soul onto the paper through my pen.

Ok, that was just sentimental bullshit.

But I really do love to write. I don't know why. Maybe because I can make up a load of nonsense about some space warrior hero studmuffin who saves the world with a lazor gun and a switchblade, AND he can breath in space without any type of space suit or mask or whatever. And people would actually like it and call me a genius or something and not look at me like I was some sort of freak. Which would be a stretch, considering that idea was asinine.

You may be asking, "hey weres your actual stuff that you wrote you probably suck"

To which I would say, "fuck you, i'll show you my stuff when im goddamn ready you rude prick"

I'm ready now.

Let's start of with my beloved fanfic, Requiem of Eternity.

ROE is set within the universe of Dofus, a MMO created by Ankama(and one you will be hearing about quite a bit). It's something I started about two years ago, out of sheer boredom. It basically details the end of the Dofus period and the events that lead into the 1000 year lapse between Dofus and Ankama's upcoming clusterfuck/MMO, Wakfu.

The actual events that create said end have changed since my first foray. Originally, the story starred Kyrote Boulgarro, an Iop(warrior class of Dofus/Wakfu) with severe mental problems. The actually plot line was kind of stupid, and I can barely remember the jist of it, but there were some baddies of some sort who were tear shit up, and Kyrote was gonna stop them with his pals.

It was pretty shallow. I got good reviews though.

Well, everyone got good reviews back then.

But yea, eventually I realized how incredible horrible it was and went back to the drawing board, for about a year or two, give or take a day. What I came up with was vastly improved to the old version, but also easier to follow, no where near as bombastic as the first version.

If I delved into the characters and plots at this moment and time, I'd probably ruin the whole plot. I know its only a shitty little fanfic, but it's something I put a lot of time and thought into.

I'll just post an excerpt of it here, just to give you an idea of what I'm working with here.

"He felt no remorse. Not because he was devoid of feeling or rationality, but because he was merely doing his job. Just as a taxman felt no remorse for taking a destitute mother's last penny, just as a judge felt no remorse for sending a man to to his death, Dance felt no remorse for slitting his target's throat. It was merely a job.
Dance didn't know the man, but even if he did, it wouldn't have made much difference. He had no room in his heart or mind for exceptions. Whoever he was hired to kill would die without fail.
He released the flailing Enutrof the the floor, his life force quickly seeping from him. He tried to rise to his knees, but Dance forced him back to the ground with his boot. He held him there and watched him squirm. It reminded him of a larvae. Constantly writhing. Totally pathetic. The Enutrof had finally stopped moving.
Dance sheathed his dagger. He snuck out the way he came, though the Enutrof's back window. It was pitch black outside, a little more then half past midnight. The street was devoid of life, save for a small piwi that was up way past its bedtime. He walked up the street quickly and quietly as a cool breeze slowly swept past him. As he made it to the corner, he heard a high pitched scream. The missus stumbling upon the remains of her lifeless husband. A widow was born that night. Dance tugged on his hood as the chill of the wind intensified."

If you want to read more, here's a link

The story will definitely have its share of twists and turns, and by the end, you'll probably be shocked.

Or pissed off. Either is fine.

Next thing I'm going to torture you with is this little script I wrote for this game that never panned out.

You see, there was this german dude named Allain that was on the Cold Star forum, and he was all "lets make a game" I was like "cool I'll write somethin" and thats how it all got started, literally.

The basic premise of the story was some convoluted shit Allain had come up with that I had to struggle to fit into a working storyline because it was so staid and rpgish, rpgish meaning totally predictable.

Here's what he gave me, in his own words(no bullshit)

"hero=cool guy-> causes death of some and is killed himself-> ressurected-> order says he is chosen one-> mission to kill the old gods-> world reborn-> joins adventurer guild in order to cross borders undercover-> meets 3 more ppl with similar background (guilt+redemption) -> parallel:adventurer guild searches artifact -> last god_> he is stopped by one of the old ones that explains that he was used by the order-> fight against order-> how?-> artifact is wepon (^^) which was used by the humans in order to end the war with the old ones-> several quests for the old ones ind order to restore artifact-> kill order -> end"

What.

No seriously, what? And it's not like he was retarded in english, he had a great grasp of the language, but.

Dammit.

But that's what I had to work with, and so I got started on the saga of Hezlem Monarch, a cool guy who was also a thief and an all around badass. Because, honestly, why wouldn't your main character be a badass?

The story revolves around Hezlem going from robbing caravans to totally murdering Gods by the end of the story.

Well, that's how it would been, had the game actually been finished. I wasn't even halfway done when Allain left the forums and nevar returned.

Which was pretty fucking rude. I mean, I toiled over this storyline for him, and he just leaves?

Whatever, the game would have prolly sucked anyway.

But enough tough talk, heres an except:

Calwort: See anything yet?
(Hezlem shakes his head.)
Hezlem: Quiet today. Not a single carriage or merchant to come through.
Forthworth: And this is supposed to be a busy road! Load of shit if you ask me.
Hezlem: No one did, so quit whining and wait.
(Kev pulls a small knife out of his pocket and pokes the ground with it.)
Kev: How do you think it’ll be before we got caught?
Hezlem: What!? Don’t say tripe like that!
Forthworth: Yea, you’ll jinx us!
(Kev shrugs his shoulders)
Kev: It’s a foregone conclusion. All criminals get caught eventually.
Hezlem: But we are not common crooks! We are proper thieves.
Calwort: Proper as a queen.
Forthworth: Damn right!
Hezlem: Will you stop yelling you miserable lout?
(Forthworth gives Hezlem the finger)
Hezlem: Oh, clever.
Forthworth: Fuck off…
Calwort: Shh, I think I hear something.
(A merchant carriage draws near, flanked by two swordsmen. Hezlem and his men get ready to strike. When the carriage comes near the bushes, they jump out and stop the carriage)
Hezlem: Alright sweeties, give up the valuables and nobody loses their head.
(The merchant jumps out the carriage, bewildered)
Merchant: Oh no, bandits!
Swordsman 1:We’ll handle this! Nothing more then common scum.
(battle begins. I’m assuming this will be the tutorial battle of sorts, should be easy. For reference, Hezlem is a standard swordfighter, one handed blade, Kev uses daggers, Calwort uses alchemy, and Forthworth is a brute who fights with an axe)
(Merchant is frightened)
Merchant: P-p-please don’t hurt me! Take it all! Take it!
Hezlem: That is the plan….load up gentlemen, we don’t have time for sight seeing.
(Calwort, Kev, and Forthworth began to pick all the items that are in the merchant carriage: A good sum of gold, starter cash, some low level weaponry maybe, and a few potions or whatever you use to restore health)
Forthworth: This carriage is pretty spare, dontcha think?
Calwort: Money is money, no matter how meager the amount. Innit that right Kev-O?
Kev: I guess.
Hezlem: Alright gentlemen, lets be on our way, lest the old man soils himself…
Calwort: And I suppose you’ll be carrying your massive ego and nothing else?
Hezlem: That’s the plan.
Calwort: Lazy tosser….

For, some reason, I imagined them all being British. Don't ask, the answer would probably be something strange and unpleasant.

If you want to see the other portions I posted, a link is here.

Gah, this is a titan of a post, so I'm going to end it with something I've recently gotten back into, which has been entitled Midnight Theory, a story that is essentially a thinly veiled copy of DotHack with stoners. Videyas games are REAL.

I'll just post the first part of the story.

"Aya, your life is pathetic."
"Really?"
"Yay, really. You skip school like, every fucking day. You smoke pot like it's a part of your religion. And worst of all, you've got no future. What the point?"
Aya took a pull from her joint before laughing in Jason's face. She smiled.
"You think you know everything. You're just an old dude with a crappy restaurant. And a horrible haircut.".
They were sitting in front of Jason's diner, an old, creaking burger joint that had been there since the 60s. It was 12 after 12 in the afternoon, and the overcast sky bore an omen of heavy rain. Aya took another pull.
"You gotta get your shit together," Jason continued, ignoring everything she said. "Stay in school, that's the only way you can get a decent job nowadays."
Aya laughed again.
"Come on! You sound like my principal, and he is such a tool!"
"Dammit, I'm serious here! You can't just waste your life on weed. You're smart. You know better."
Aya sucked her teeth before rising to her feet.
"You're all preachy today. Blowing my high and shit...wait. If you don't want me to smoke weed, why do you sell it to me?"
Jason shrugged.
"Business is slow."
"You dick," said Aya as she walked away.
"Remember what I told you!" called Jason.
"Whatever..."
Aya's life had no structure. She had no authority figures in her life. She did as she pleased, and in her mind, no one had the right to tell her otherwise.

That's literally all I got on that, and I'm not gonna bother explaining anything yet, because I have no idea where this story is going to end up.

I'm done for now, do good in school and don't be pussies.

And lastly...

Goddamn. Blogging to an audience that doesn't exist yet, this might be a new low.

Herzlich bienvenue, ladies 'n gentlemen of the world! Jax here. Comrades Delgado, Saber and Doctor have wrapped up who we are and why we're here, so I won't flog that horse any more. But, quick change to the dramatis personae - salubrious salutations to Salza (aka salazar/salsajar/sal, and sometimes his alter-ego LBT). He's pretty much the founder of this whole circus.

Don't have time to say much right now, just keepin the ball rolling, so to speak. I'll be recommending (and sometimes reviewing) new music, movies and games, and gems of life (and the internets) you should check out, as well as making a note of any sparks of inspiration, and most likely incoherently rambling 'bout any topic that comes to mind.

I'll also keep you posted on the comings and goings of the comic Saber mentioned, probably focusing more on the visual side. At some vague point in the not-too-far future, I'd like to try and get my own creation published, a neo-noir cyberpunk romp through the grimy streets of a future London - won't start working on it until we've more or less finished with this comic and I've more or less finished with edumacations, but I'll use this place as a notepad/sketchbook for the ideas and design process.

That's all for now, folks.

Hiroo Onoda and You

Once upon a time, there was a Japanese soldier named Hiroo Onoda who was sent to the island of Lubang, near the Philippines, during WWII. In February 1945, the Allies arrived and Onoda and the other guerrilla soldiers split up and retreated into the jungle. He and the three others in his group survived for years on coconuts and bananas, occasionally stealing from the locals. They kept finding notes telling them that the war had ended, and could they please come out of there already. But they decided that all of them were a clever trick by the Allies, and that all the photographic evidence attached to the notes were Photoshopped. Of the other three, one decided to ditch them, surrendering to Filipino forces. The other two were shot, one by local police and one, ironically, by a search party. Onoda was the only one left, but he did not surrender. He did not surrender for twenty-nine years. Eventually, he was found by a college student, who persuaded him that the war was in fact over, but still. Twenty-nine years. Then he returned to Japan and wrote an autobiography.

The moral is, sometimes it's better to give up, but other times, if you don't give up, even if you fail hard you still get to write a fairly interesting autobiography. I guess that's why SCS is still alive, and we keep trying to revive it every time it dies. We're (amateur) writers in search of a story to tell, but mostly we don't know when to give up.

Would you like some ham with that cheese?

Just A Few Things

Hey readers, what's up? Welcome to Studio Cold Star, a blog about nothing much in particular. I want to talk about a few things in this post. The first thing I want to talk about is why this blog was made, and what we plan to use it for.

This blog was made by four members of the website Studio Cold Star, obviously being Delgado, Jax, The Doctor, and I. We're not the only members of the site, although there aren't that many of us anyway. We simply made this blog so that we could express any thoughts we have, and just generally post whatever we're thinking about. That doesn't mean that we'll just post any idiotic idea that comes to us, but if we ever think up a story or any other form of media we wish to share, you just might be able to catch it here.

The next thing I want to talk about is a blog, and it's not this one. I'm hoping to be able to get another blog up and running in a few days, one based on video game design. It will focus upon the different concepts that video games make use of, and in it me and my partner in crime will review games, and try to work on our own. Hopefully you'll be able to visit it soon, and I'll be sure to post a link to it once it's ready.

The final thing I want to talk about is a comic, a webcomic in fact. It will be a collaboration between Jax and I, with him doing the artwork and I the story. I hope to get a little done in terms of characters and story in the next few days, but I'm sure you all know what school is like. Look for it in the summer.

Well, that's pretty much my post. Hope you all decide to come again, since I'm sure we'll have some interesting stuff to blog about. We're blogging in the blogosphere!

...I feel dirty for saying that.

First post of substance

Because I am the main character of this cast and therefore the most important, I get to imprint my personality on the blog and goad you into believing that the blog will be following a certain topic, when in reality, the blog has no point other then to confuse and confound you and hopefully land you in the same mental facility as me, so we can be roommates.

Its been so long since I've had a roommate.

Am I creeping you out? Good, lets move on, sugar cakes.

E3 fin'd a few days ago, and I must say, I was overwhelmingly underwhelmed by it. Xbox is ripping off of Nintendroid AGAIN, the next Final Fantasy will becoming out sometime between next year and the end of Obama's second term, and there was a bunch of other titles that were largely forgettable.

I was most excited to hear about Fight Night Round 4, because, as you will soon find out, I am a huge boxing fan, and there's nothing like playing as a virtual boxer, (and by playing I mean living vicariously through the controller because I am too doughy to box myself), and knocking out all the AI opponents in the career mode because they're too fucking stupid to defend their face.

I mean, how can you not know how to defend your face? Seriously, its like, an instinct or something. Whatever.

I wa watching the G4 coverage of the show, and the information that the game producer Brian Hayes(who has the awesome nickname of Brizzo and seems like a badass in general) was predictably the same shit I have heard on end since I first became obsessed with this title.

The physics on the game are top notch, as evidenced by the demo(which is entertaining as hell, albeit slim pickings) but for fucks sake, there are more aspects to the game then glancing blows and spit. I mean, no game modes have been talked about, other then Legacy Mode, and that mode hasn't even been given much attention. But whatever, the game's coming out in about two weeks, so I'll be able to immerse myself in the glories of kicking virtual ass and not really feeling any better about anything. Because its a game and I have better shit to do, but I don't.

Fuck you priorities.

On another note, I was amused by Oliva Munn trying to act all knowledgeable about boxing, what with the "Oh, Tysons good on the inside Alis good on the outside" schtick, as if that hasn't been harped on one million times. But good try Munn, you're still awesome and hot and all that jazz.

Moving on to actual boxing, Miguel Cotto is gearing up to fight Joshua Clottey June 13. Cotto is a fucking stud, so I'm expecting him to tear Clottey's shit up. Nothing against Clottey, but I've only seen a few videos of him boxing, and I've never really been impressed by him, whereas Cotto has been more then impressive in most of his fights, sans the Margarito fiasco, but old boy plastered his hand wraps with cement, so fuck that. I'd be surprised if Cotto has any problems with this guy, but I'll give it to Cotto(obviously), unanimous decision.

My hands are fucking aching, and I don't need carpal tunnel at this point in my life, so I'll end it here.

(We wish to notify you that the views of Delgado are not synonymous with the views of Studio Cold Star, and Delgado's views may differ from the views of Studio Cold Star)

March of the Cold Star

Hello and welcome to the SCS blog, where there is no justice and the worship of idle pretentiousness is advised.

We of the Cold Star will be reducing your intelligence with posts regarding to the sheer joy of being free on the internet and not having to worry about mommy yelling at us for cursing and being dicks in general, because that's what the webz are for, dontcha know.

To shorten things up, because intros are boring as shit, here's a roll call:

Delgado/Twill: Obviously me, and not short on humility as evidenced in my profile. Aspiring writer and borderline cynic.

Saber/Saer/Sarbes/Hard Gay: Dude with a haircut molded by GOD. Wants to be a game designer or some shit.

Doctor Doctor/Daft/Scabies: Russian with a sharp wit and angst. Also the only girl (active).

Jax: Artist who is too fucking cool for SCS. Looks like a matrix dude when he wears glasses.

There will probably be more posters later on, but they'll have to intro themselves, because they should have been here when I was in the mood. Viva la Cold Star.

Prerequisite link to the home base: Here.

(We wish to notify you that the views of Delgado are not synonymous with the views of Studio Cold Star, and Delgado's views may differ from the views of Studio Cold Star)